The Goodenough Community
The Goodenough Community is a long-term experiment in community formation and
development sponsored by the American Association for the Furtherance of Community.

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Conscious Couples Network

The Conscious Couples Network (CCN) is committed to helping committed partners enrich, renew and strengthen their relationship. Recognizing the need for education, discussion and support, the Network sponsors evening gatherings and weekend and workshops, throughout the year. We offer the camaraderie of other committed couples,  and a demonstration of ordinary people choosing to learn to develop themselves and their relationship, to create an increasingly rich and satisfying life.

 “The measure of a good relationship is not the absence of problems, but the way in which a couple works with their problems." - John Hoff, ThD.


Program Benefits

  • Partners find that they create a more emotionally intelligent and mature relationship

  • Partners bring a more positive influence into their home and other areas of their lives

  • We offer opportunities to learn, practice and experience  healthy relational behaviors through non-judgmental game play

Whatís the Conscious Couples name about?
Our name highlights two features of a healthy, committed relationship

 1. Consciousness, because good relationships just donít happen Ė they require intention, attention and care to create a warm relationship that is supportive of the growth of both partners.

 2. Network, because of the importance of providing an ongoing, supportive, and  relational context for couples to practice and refine their skills of friendship and goodwill.  Spending time with other couples provides the opportunity to share what you have learned from your relationship and to learn from others.  The network provides couples mutual support and practical help - couples coaching couples.

Game Play Method of Learning
Game play allows participants to relax and let go of the constrictions of their doís and doníts.  Benefits of game-play include; improved communication, increased affection, lightening the atmosphere, and enhanced collaboration and effective partnership.

Program Leadership  
Bruce and Irene Perler provide leadership for the CCN along with John Hoff, ThD, and Colette Hoff, MA, couple and family life educators.

 

 

Please contact Bruce at bruce_perler@hotmail.com or 206-419-8361 for more information.

 

What others say:

Practical human footsteps. The tools we were given can allow us to better stop and see what we are doing.  - JR

 

Listening in to other couplesí discussions about issues that I could relate to was fascinating and insightful. Effective job creating a safe space. I felt I could be open and honest and I very much appreciated the leadership.  Ė LZ

The assessment tools fueled good conversation. I appreciated the time to build and share deeply. The leadership and overall participation was great. - BP      


Friendship Training for Couples
Offered by Colette Hoff, MEd. and John L. Hoff, ThD.


A good marriage is not defined by the absence
of problems but by the way partners handle
the problems they have . . .

This statement is a key to the way John and Colette Hoff work with couples. They have worked together for over 30 years and with over 400 marriages and families. They work with individual couples and families in small groups as well as in workshops.
The Hoffs organize the needs and requests of couples into four areas:
 The need for a more friendly environment in the home.
 Support for a more orderly and manageable life .
 Guidance for working with psychological and emotional problems.
 Coaching for routines that give form and meaning to relational life.
Friendship Training involves:
a. A behavioral focus.
b. The Identification of old hurts and harmful patterns.
c. Restoring a sense of order and rationality.
d. Teaching and practicing the skills for being relational and compassionate.
e. Teaching couples how to demonstrate friendship to children through their relationship.
2. Our modern lives are stressed and crowded. According to surveys, the average couple is over-scheduled and their relationship is under-nurtured. This can change! As you know, human problems are currently diagnosed as “dis-orders.” This concept refers to the way an individual may become a problem to his or her self as well as to others. Whether you lack control of your emotions, your schedule, or your financial life, these must be seen as symptoms of dis-order. We need to look more deeply into the assumptions and the competing agreements that cause these problems and heighten anxiety. The Hoffs utilize information and exercises to encourage individuals and couples to claim responsibility, as adults, for the way they live.
3. A strong relationship requires partners to be understanding of each other’s human frailties. Partners usually have “blind spots” and can be uncooperative until they understand the cost. Remember, it is statistically probable that the partner you live with has one or more mental / emotional difficulties—stress, anger, anxiety, depres-sion, mood swings and the like—and the same is true of you. Cognitive and behavioral protocols for dealing wisely with most mental and emotional problems can address many contemporary challenges in marriage.
4. Coaching for relational success is where the Hoffs have created the most lasting change in marriages and families. From the study of couples that claim satisfaction and are evaluated as effectively mar-ried, they have identified five processes that have proved very
helpful:
 Individuals agree to meditate (weekly) and reflect on what is working and not working in their relationship.
 Couples have a weekly business meeting where they share com-plaints and Compliments, household priorities, and review calen-dars together.
 Couples have a weekly intimacy time where they share verbally and physically with each other.
 Couples have a weekly work together time when they engage household duties, trading off responsibility for leadership.


Testimonial:
Bruce and Irene Perler representing the Conscious Couples Network: we consider a weekend like this essential for clarifying our goals and renewing our relationship. The energy and witness of other couples raises the quality of interaction to one of learning instead of reacting!


 

  

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Last modified: March 7, 2012